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Abuse and Violent Behavior

Violence means using force to hurt or control someone or break or damage something. Some people get very angry and lose control. They may throw things, punch a wall or hit somebody. They may even be sorry afterwards. If you, a family member or a friend has been slapped, hit or pushed, or your behavior is out of control or violent, it is time to seek help. No one deserves to be hurt! There are times that abuse is not physical but emotional. In these situations, someone may be threatening you verbally or treating you in a way that makes you feel fearful for your safety or believe you will be hurt.

If you, or someone you're with, is hurt or in danger, get away and get help from a friend or neighbor. Call 911 for police assistance.

If there is no emergency but you are afraid of being hurt physically or emotionally by a friend of family member, talk about it with someone who will listen and believe you, or call one of the numbers listed. It is common to have mixed feelings about someone who id violent towards you. It is important to tell someone and not keep secrets even if the person promises not to do it again. People who abuse or hurt others need to get help. By telling someone, you begin to take control of the situation and begin to help yourself.

You may have heard a lot about or know someone involved in domestic violence (family or household violence) and think this occurs only between married people or adults who are living together, but some teens are also involved in abusive dating relationships. These relationships can be very difficult to end. Talk to a family member or someone you respect, or seek counseling.

You may be in an abusive relationship if you:

  • Are frightened of your partners temper.
  • Find yourself apologizing to yourself or to others for your partners behavior
  • have been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you by your partner when he or she was jealous or angry.
  • Make plans/decisions about activities/friends based on what your partner wants or how your partner will react
  • Have been abused as a child or seen your mother abused
  • Are treated badly or embarrassed in front of others by your partner
  • Agree to have sex, even if you are uncomfortable about it

If there are times when you feel as if you're losing control, you can learn other ways to deal with stress, tension and anger. More information on counseling is available.

The following organizations will provide information and/or assistance (click on the agency's name for more information):


Family Counseling Service of the Finger Lakes
(315)789-2613 or (877)789-2613 toll free
Individual counseling, family counseling, play therapy, sexual abuse assessment and treatment, Hispanic youth groups.

Lifeline
(800)310-1160 or TDD: (585)275-2700
Lifeline provides a variety of support and referral services including access to other agencies.

Ontario County Department of Social Services
(585)396-4060 or (877)814-6907 toll free
The agency's services are geared toward families and include financial assistance and family and children services including child protective, foster care and preventative services.

Rape and Abuse Crisis Service of the Finger Lakes
(315)781-1093 or Hotline: (800)247-7273
The agency provides a 24-hour hotline, crisis intervention, counseling, medical and legal assistance for people involved in rape or abuse.

Alternatives for Battered Women
(585)232-7353


Child Abuse Hotline
(800)342-3720
This is the official state Child Abuse Hotline.

Student Transition and Recovery Program
(585) 396-4482
Challenges faced by the S.T.A.R. program include bullying, truancy, fighting, stealing, disrespect


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